Fruit Jokes

The F & V Gang have a great sense of humour and are always keen to hear the latest fruit and vegie jokes hitting the schools out there, so if you’ve got a good one you would like to share make sure you send it in.

Every resident of NSW and QLD that sends in a joke (and includes their address) will receive some great ‘Fresh for Kids’™ Prizes!!!

Entry is only open to residents of NSW and QLD, Australia only.

Email one of the gang or send it to:

Fresh for Kids
PO Box 2
Sydney Markets, NSW, 2129

OR send your joke via email to:

freshforkids@sydneymarkets.com.au

We have been inundated with some great jokes lately, which has had us all laughing until our bellies ache. Check them out!

A lemon in disguise


Strangle it


A runner bean


A dual cabbage way


Because it wasn’t peeling well


A tickled onion


A muscle sprout

From: Natalya Byrt, NSW


I’ve got you covered

From: Tayla, QLD


“Don’t look now, I’m changing”

From: Minnell Chandra, NSW


Sorry, you’re not the right type.

From: Jack, QLD


Because they come in bunches!

From: John Utah, NSW


A neck-tarine!

From: Amanda Lee, ACT


Because he couldn’t find a date!


Tomato paste!


Quit stalking me.

From: Justin Hayden, NSW


Who’s there? Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out.

From: Michael Alonso, VIC


A can of people.

From: Mandy, QLD


Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

From: Enrico


Ketchup

From: Harry, NSW


Because he saw the salad dressing.

From: Anna, QLD


Because she could see right through him.

From: Joe, WA


A has-bean.

From: Jessica, QLD


They wine.

From: Amy, NSW


Grump-pea.

From: Armando, NSW


A mush-vroom.

From: Lisa, ACT


Because it wanted to be a lemon squash!

From: Rachel, VIC


Eggplants

From: Raman Subbarethinam, QLD


Bob!

From: Katie Hartlepool


An embarrassed tomato!

From: Julian Warren


Easy. Make a noise like a carrot.

 


A hoarse radish.


Hot cross buns.

From: Andrew, NSW


Dam

From: Ashleigh, QLD


Pop Corn!!


A ghost host.


A bullet.

From: Jeanne, NSW


If I had more guts I’d do that again.


Bad to the bone…


To get to the other side.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD


Hot dog.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD


Because seven ate nine.

From: Alice Robinson, Brisbane, QLD


A newspaper.

From: Dara Robinson, Brisbane, QLD


To prove she wasn’t chicken!

From: Dara Robinson, Brisbane, QLD


Because its fruit fell off!


“I think he squeezed her a little too hard”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because she let out a little wine”


Because he had no guts.

From: Nathan


A lumpy milkshake!

From: Van, Chermside, QLD


Because it saw Mrs Green pea over the back fence.

From: Sommer and Ellie, NSW


A pair of slippers

From: Megan Bray, NSW


Because it saw the salad dressing..

From: Levi Worden


Between you and me something smells!


You Cant-Eloupe


A skeleton laughing his head off!


We nailed that one!

From: Stevie Newey, NSW


Student: My parrot Poly ate a clock, and now, polytics.

From: Samantha Li, NSW, Age 9


A snail because it carries its house on its back.

From: Catherine Li, NSW, Age 11


Naval oranges.

From: Raman Subbarethinam, QLD

Captain Capsicum!

From: Charmaine


I’m about to change my nationality” one said to the other
“How?” the other potato asked
“By becoming French fries!”


Who’s there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard I know u!!


Squash.

From: Joanne Lee, QLD


Close the door I’m dressing!

From: Jenna, NSW


He saw the salad roll.


He had no body to go with

From: Kate Young, QLD


You can’t tuna fish!

From: Tuscany, Castle Hill NSW


Because he ran out of juice.

From: Jonathan H, Aroona QLD


Tarzan the grapeman

From: Isaak I, Wolumla NSW


Because he forgot his keys!

From: Sammi T, Blayney NSW


To make lemon squash!

From: Mathew C, Rockingham WA


Summa Strawberry!

From: Charmaine C, Hornsby, NSW


Jump out and yell, BOO to the banana

From: Bassem Y


Stop bugging me!!!!!!

From: Simeran B, Sydney, NSW


Daddy tomato walked back to where Baby tomato who was lagging behind was & trod on him & said “Ketchup” (catch up!)

From: Chloe, Eleebana, NSW


Because if it was large and red it would be a tomato!


A banana shake!


Because it can carry it’s house on it’s back!


Who’s there?

Lettuce
Lettuce who?

Lettuce in please, I am cold


That was berry nice!!!!!!!!!


They’d crack each other up!

From: Simeran Bahia, Sydney, NSW


He couldn’t concentrate!

From: Andrew, Wagga Wagga, NSW


Because he was a fungi to be with!

From Tiarna Herrero, Slacks Creek, QLD


Because it ran out of juice!

From Nathan Cheney, Happy Valley, SA


Because he kept throwing the bent ones out!

From Laura Raso, Stanbridge, NSW


Your legs!

From Jacqui, NSW


Hot cross bunnies!


He wanted to prove he wasn’t a chicken!!

From Claire Montague, Lane Cove, NSW


Who’s there?

Red
Red who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?

Red
Red Who?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?

Orange
Orange who?

Orange you happy that Red is gone!

From Amar Sehic, NSW


To make a Webpage.


Kung – Flu.


Morse toad.

From Samantha Duncan, Mackay


Squash


I don’t know about you but I’m starting to peel!


What is red and goes up and down?


With a pumpkin patch!


Because it saw an apple turnover!


If it was large and red it would be a fire engine!

From Lauren Ferguson


With a cabbage patch!

From Corey Crosby


The Snail. He carries his house on its back


Have him sit in the back seat with you

From Chantala Walsh


Because his feet smelt and his nose ran!

From Phillip Kirby


It saw the salad dressing.

From Kylie Tarrant, Cronulla, NSW


Because it’s full of dates!


Neck-tarines


A fruit punch!

From Samantha Turner, Hassall Grove, NSW


So he wouldn’t be found in the strawberry patch.

From Megan Kruijver, Sung, TAS


Who’s there?

Banana
Banana who?

Banana Apple


I don’t know. I didn’t even know Carrots could talk!

From Sophie Lyons Leeton, NSW


A date with a peach.

From Sarah


A potato with watery eyes.


In Greece


He wanted peas on earth.

From Rebecca


Where’s Popcorn


In apricots


Squash

From Tayla and Dillon Whalley, Bundaberg QLD


Massive hands

From: Samantha and Catherine Li, NSW


Who’s there?
Boo who
Boo who who?
Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!

From: Ricky


Fsh

From: Samantha Li, NSW, Age 10